A brief look into Larry's last days

As I was organizing my e-mail files recently, I re-read letters that I'd written to my employer in the weeks prior to Larry's November 13, 2018 death. They offer a glimpse into my daily life as Larry's declining health required me to adopt a revised daily schedule. I share them here:

Wednesday, October 3:
(Addressed to a co-worker at the place of my employment). ....Larry had gotten dressed and got his oxygen on and was near the door to leave, to go ANYWHERE. But he was standing still, leaning against the wall, too tired to move! I talked him into staying home so he's been in his recliner sleeping since I got home. 

He CAN'T be driving when he can't stay awake. It's scary to leave him on his own. In Sept 2017 Larry's lungs were working at 94% capacity. In August 2018 the number was down to 59%. Currently, the number is at 42%. That's quite a drop in the last 7 weeks. I did the math. If the decline continues at the rate it has the last few weeks, that doesn't leave many weeks of lung functioning. It's a wake-up call for sure!

Thursday, November 1: (Addressed to my "boss" at work). What a busy day I've had, after a busy night! Two of Larry's daughters and one son are here for the day, just spending time with each other and their dad. I came to realize something this morning as I was helping Larry get up and dressed and ready for the day. I've been helping him (for hours) through the night, getting him back to bed about 6:30 am, then I get ready for work and get to the office sometime after 7 am. He was really struggling this morning after he took his pills at 6 am and I helped him with everything...walking room to room, taking pills, drinking water, and eventually getting dressed. That turned out to be a 2-hour process. His oxygen would plummet to 64, 68 or 71 repeatedly, so I had to keep him quiet, trying to breathe and get it up into the 90s. I realized I can't go off and leave him ALONE anymore at 7 am, or 8 am, while he sleeps for a final hour or so. His friend Gary has been coming over about 9 am after he takes his grandson to school and then he helps Larry get ready to get out of the house. But I had my eyes opened again this morning to another required change. I really need to stay here, get myself ready 6:30-7:30 am (however it works out) while he tries to rest a final hour or so. Then I need to get him up about 8 am and dressed and stay with him until Gary comes. Everything is in slow motion due to the inability to breathe. I'm really seeing that I need to stay with Larry in the mornings until Gary gets here and can monitor him. I don't feel comfortable or feel like it's responsible to leave him here alone when I go to work. Will it work for you and the Church if I come in when I get all that taken care of each morning? It may be about 9:30 am. We'll see how it goes. I know I can still get my workload done and on time, with a few adjustments in the timing. I just see such a decline by the week. My son has been coming over for dinner each Monday evening and he expressed the same observation to Larry's oldest daughter Becky this week. Larry's youngest son Matthew took off work today and is spending the day here (and overnight) with his dad and oldest sister. Larry really wanted to get out and about today with his kids, but I wouldn't let him. He's nowhere near in shape to do that. The desire and the reality don't match! When he's on continuous oxygen and his oxygen reading goes to 64 after he walks from one room to another, he's not in any condition to leave the house. I'm taking it a day at a time and doing what I need to do to keep him safe physically and boosted mentally and emotionally. Keep him in your prayers and pray that the Sciatic pain I've been having for 6 weeks will subside so I can manage all this efficiently and pain-free! 

Left to Right: Larry's oldest daughter Becky Newman, youngest son Matt Jamison and youngest daughter Ruthie Brady, in our home to visit their Dad. 

In the evening of November 1, Matt and Rachael Jamison entertained us all, with their dad's help, with a family slide show. It was well-timed, as Larry was able to identify family members who were unknown to the rest of us. 

Saturday, November 3: (Again a message to my employer, The Rev. Mark D. Meyer of Christ Episcopal Church in Canon City): Mark, I need to update my previous email to you about Jamie (Larry's nickname) and my schedule. He hasn't been out of the house for 3 days, as he's just not able. We're seeing the decline BY THE DAY. He's now wearing a mask to distribute the oxygen to both his mouth and nose.

Ruthie Brady is enjoying her dad's company.

It's been helpful, as the reading at rest goes up to 97 or 98 with the mask on, while on the home concentrator. However, we're finding that ANY activity, motion, or movement, brings it down. He walked into another room this morning and it went to 72. Early this morning he walked from the bathroom to the bedroom (with my help) and it went to 61. It took 3 hours for it to come up sufficiently for me to get him dressed. So now, of course, that presents its own challenge for eating, drinking water, taking pills, etc. I'm helping him with every single motion. This week his daughter from Oregon was here and gave me help and yesterday his son joined us and helped. Everyone's gone now. They both concurred with my assessment that I need to be here as much as possible, at least for the next couple of weeks while we see how this goes. I've arranged with his two local daughters to come over and stay with Jamie while I run to the office to print or catch up with what HAS TO BE DONE there. Otherwise, it would help immensely if I could work from home, preparing reports, bulletins, bookkeeping etc. 
Jamie also finally says you can inform anyone who needs to be aware of the reason for my revised schedule, while using discretion and speaking in generalities, of course. I don't believe he's in his last few days, but he's certainly going downhill daily. He's frail, worn out, weak, out of breath, and relatively quiet. I have to hold him solidly when he takes every step. And everything is in SLOW MOTION, due to the limited breathing. 

While sitting on the heating pad for the Sciatic pain,
I'm visiting with my granddaughter Makenna.

And yes, I'm taking Ibuprofen for the Sciatica. I sit on the heating pad whenever I'm seated. But the pain is constant and very strong. The company this week was nice and helpful and necessary, but you know how it goes with company. Demanding and tiring! Thank you for understanding. I will continue to do my best to take care of everyone and get my work done efficiently. 

Sunday, November 4: (In a letter addressed to the chairman of a committee for which I take meeting Minutes): John, I won't be at the meeting Wednesday morning as I need to take my husband to a 9:00 am doctor appointment. I've let Mark know and received his blessing, support, and understanding. I truly need to be more flexible with my hours in the office. I'll get my work done but some may be done from home, or at odd hours. My husband's health is rapidly declining and it's gotten to the place where I must help him with every little activity: walking, moving, dressing, in and out of chairs/bed, etc. He has Severe Pulmonary Fibrosis and Severe Pulmonary Hypertension. He has great difficulty breathing and is on oxygen 24/7, now using a mask to emit oxygen into his mouth as well as his nose. He's very frail, weak, tired, and of course out of breath. He's pretty much house-bound, except for necessary trips to the doctor. A friend is able to relieve me occasionally so I can run to the office/bank/store, etc. Two of his kids are going to relieve me as they're able. When possible, I'll leave Larry home alone to rest while I'm working at the Church office. I will need to assess the viability of that on a daily basis. Of course, I'll do my best to do all my work, timely and efficiently, I appreciate your support and understanding. 

Our living room was re-arranged to accommodate Larry's hospital bed.

Saturday, November 10, in a letter to my boss: Just a quick note from the "Jamison Care Center". We got Jamie enrolled with Sangre de Cristo Hospice yesterday. Very, very long day. But excellent choice. So our living room has turned into his bedroom. At least he's still home and his care is manageable. More out of state company is arriving in the next few days. And they will all help and he'll be happy to see them. So we're doing ok. 

Larry's niece and husband, Sara and Quinn Lister enjoyed a visit with Larry Nov 9-10. 

Larry's sister-in-law Linda Jamison arrived from Utah for a visit Nov 10-14.
She's enjoying the company of Matt and Lisa Jamison and our granddaughter Makenna. 

 

Larry was still entertaining his company with stories on
 Sunday, Nov. 11, two days before his passing. 

Larry passed away in the early morning hours Tuesday, November 13, 2018.